Ancient Egypt's Funniest Jokes and Puns

UNLEASH THE LAUGHTER

Ancient Egyptian Jokes

Some jokes are pretty old… these ones are ancient. They’ve been dried out, covered with salt and wrapped in cloth, just so that they can be perfectly preserved for thousands of years. Come to think of it, perhaps they should be called Mummy Jokes instead.

Why did Ancient Egyptian fish love the desert?

They were in d’nile

What is a mummy’s favourite kind of music?

Rap

What did the Pharaoh say to his driver?

Toot-and-come-in

Who conquered all the cheese in Ancient Egypt?

Alexander the Grater

What did the pharaoh say after his tomb was ransacked?

I want my mummy!

Why don’t people use ancient Egyptian drum kits?

They have too many cymbals

What did Ancient Egyptian rulers say when they didn’t get what they want?

It’s not Pharaoh!

Why did all Egyptians wear make up?

They wanted to look better than their mummies

Why did Ancient Egyptians think cats were lucky?

Because they had nine afterlives

Why did the Egyptian man shave patterns onto his head?

He was using hairyglyphics

Keep the Giggles Going

You Must Be Joking!

Get a FREE Joke Book

Enter your email address below to get a free joke book delivered to your preferred e-reader. You’ll receive the download link and instructions, along with ten of Tom E Moffatt’s freshly squeezed jokes every month. But don’t worry… he keeps all information safe, does not send spam and you can unsubscribe at any time. No joke.

Unleash the Laughter

Discover Hundreds of Original Jokes

Click on the categories below to unleash the laughter. From animal puns to toilet humour and wordplay, there is something for everyone in these hilarious joke collections.