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Have a Happy Halloween with this gruesome collection of jokes. They’ll either have you howling like a wolf, groaning like a zombie or running away like a terrified toddler. There are no tricks here … You’re in for a real treat!

What should you do if you are attacked by a ghost?
Kick him in the ghoulies

Why should you never attack a zombie with a drill?
It’s dead boring

Who comes out of your nose on Halloween?
The bogeyman

What’s the worst thing about a haunted school?
Ghoul dinners

What do a thousand bones weigh?
A skeletonne

Who collects nectar from dead flowers?
Zombees

Why did the sausage dress up as a monster?
It was a Hallowiener

How do you start a haunting race?
Ready, set, ghost!

What do polite vampires say?
Fangs a lot

What did the baby say at Halloween?
Trick or Teat!

Tom E. Moffatt prefers silly to spooky. Check out his hilarious books here.

Hover over the joke to reveal the answer.

Have a Happy Halloween with this gruesome collection of jokes. They’ll either have you howling like a wolf, groaning like a zombie or running away like a terrified toddler. There are no tricks here … You’re in for a real treat!

Click on the joke to reveal the answer.

What should you do if you are attacked by a ghost?
Kick him in the ghoulies

Why should you never attack a zombie with a drill?
It’s dead boring

Who comes out of your nose on Halloween?
The bogeyman

What’s the worst thing about a haunted school?
Ghoul dinners

What do a thousand bones weigh?
A skeletonne

Who collects nectar from dead flowers?
Zombees

Why did the sausage dress up as a monster?
It was a Hallowiener

How do you start a haunting race?
Ready, set, ghost!

What do polite vampires say?
Fangs a lot

What did the baby say at Halloween?
Trick or Teat!

Tom E. Moffatt prefers silly to spooky. Check out his hilarious books here.