Rhymes and Reasons to Laugh: Lots of Hilarious Limericks

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Limericks

This month I thought I’d mix things up with some Limericks – one of the funniest forms of poetry.

There once was a lady called Jenny,
Who bought a new car for a penny,
It was the greatest of deals,
Till she counted the wheels,

‘Cos it turned out it didn’t have any.

There once was a tiger called Tigger,
Who wanted his den to be bigger,
He tried using his jaws,
And retractable claws,

But eventually called in a digger.

There once was a man from wherever,
Who used to wear nothing but leather,
When his undies went rotten,
He switched them for cotton,

And now he feels light as a feather.

There once was a young boy called Mark,
Who wanted to glow in the dark,
He dressed up in nylon,
Climbed up a pylon,

And boy did that boy make a spark!

There once was a young girl called Mary,
Who wanted to be a real fairy,
She made up a potion,
From shampoo and lotion,

But it just made her turn rather hairy.

There once was a young boy called Pete,
Who tried scoffing a pie with his feet,
He got sauce ‘tween his toes,
The crust up his nose,

And he had very little to eat.

There once was a foolish old bloke,
Who drunk twenty litres of coke,
That silly old chappy,
Was hyper and happy,

Till the dentist bill left him quite broke.

There once was a runner called Rita,
Who was so fast that no one could beat her,
When they checked in her pocket,
They found a small rocket,

And realized that she was a cheater.

There once were two little white mice,
Who were certain that cats could be nice,
They gave once some cheese,
Said thank you and please,

But were unable to do such things twice.

There once was a knackered old chap,
Who lay down in the road for a nap,
He was certainly tyred,
The day he expired,

And he’s now just a mark on a map.

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