Lettuce Laugh: Handpicked Vegetable Jokes for Every Palate

UNLEASH THE LAUGHTER

Vegetable Jokes

What is funnier than a vegetable? A vegetable joke, of course! Seriously… this collection will have you wishing your parents would serve you more veggies, just so that you can get a few laughs at the dinner table.

What do you call a carrot with 4 equal sides?

A square root

What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?

A brocollie

What do you say to a loud vegetable?

Turnip down

Why did the pirate wear a lettuce leaf over his eye?

He wanted to have a vegetable patch

Why did the beetroot nearly dye?

Because her roots were showing

What are baby parsnips called?

Parsnippers

What do you get if you plant your feet in soil?

Potatoes

What do you give a vegetable on Valentine’s day?

Cauliflowers

What did the salad say when it was locked out?

Lettuce in

Why did Popeye get dizzy?

He had too much spinach

What does a vegetable do when it can’t get to the toilet?

Pee in a pod.

Keep the Giggles Going

Drink Jokes

Cheesy Jokes

Edible Knock-Knock Jokes

You Must Be Joking!

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Discover Hundreds of Original Jokes

Click on the categories below to unleash the laughter. From animal puns to toilet humour and wordplay, there is something for everyone in these hilarious joke collections.